Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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