Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
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He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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