Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
