I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
