I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize