So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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