Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
