Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
