Will you blow on my dice?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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