I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
