You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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