you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
