Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
