And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
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Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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