also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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