so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
