dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
