this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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