Me too!
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
