The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
