I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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