dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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