I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
