It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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