he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
