It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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