so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
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No more Irish car bombs ever.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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