absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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