I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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