she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
