She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
