You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
