I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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