Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Randomize
