Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
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Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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