you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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