On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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