Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
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Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
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Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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