he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Be still, my beating vagina.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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