she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
