it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
