Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize