I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
