You made me cry and you don't even care
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
