remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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