1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize