On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
