it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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