last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
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Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Will exercising make me less horny?
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