peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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