My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
you never un-have a 4some
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize