You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize