So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize