I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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