Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just had sex on a roof
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
