Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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