Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
