fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
