the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
