Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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