Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
